So I recently have been coming to realize that the outdoors and I do not mix at all– period. Now this statement would not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me… Especially in college. If I was not at a nerdy, research based school already, I would probably be considered what many would call a nerd. This distinction does not bother me the least; on the contrary, I love being a nerd! Though if one would look at my skill with sports and other outdoor activities, this category could not ring truer.
My idea of a good time is sitting down with friends and enjoying a dungeon run or two in an MMO. I honestly cannot think of a better way to pass my free time than by chatting and slaying mobs with my friends. When I relax on my own, I enjoy include drawing and coding random yet helpful scripts (such as my current IRC bot Kanako). Throughout middle and high school, I never thought much of these habits. It was only when I began living with other people in college that I realized that my outdoor stats have… Not been raised.
See, a fair amount of my friends on campus enjoy doing er- any sort of … Physical activity … on their free time. Of course as soon as I attempt any such activity, I completely fail at it. (E-hehe…)
No, I’m serious! I swear, every single physical activity I attempt, it ends badly. This is not a recent thing either– P.E. Class used to be a very dreadful part of the day for me. Hmm… Well not totally. I mean in high school at least the coaches would only grade whether you changed into your uniforms or not. But yeah, I rarely ever have a good experience when it comes to physical activities. I swear that whenever I attempt such an undertaking, I will get hurt.
For example, I recall one delightful P.E. Day in high school when we decided to play dodge ball. Of course the teams were horribly unbalanced as they always were and my team slowly dwindled. See, I would stand or sit on the back wall only dodging balls if they happened to approach me, since I really suck at throwing. One day (far too late I might add) I realized that I neglected to formulate a plan as to what I should do if/when I am the last person remaining. Obviously this scenario is not a very cheery one… A group of about ten boys and girls versus me who would not throw. Long story short, I got pegged in the face and then on my body shortly thereafter ^^; … Oh well.
Now don’t get the wrong idea! I’m not fat… In fact I am probably on the skinny side! In fact, I will tolerate and even enjoy jogging and bicycling… Just not with other people. Maybe because my fail at physical activities contrasts so sharply with my academic/gaming side, I just cannot stand to let the people close to me see my fail-ness. When I am alone, I tend to be more bold about trying to get better about such things. When others are around me, I just feel so… Awkward and out of place that I just lose the will to do anything, since I know I’d probably fail anyways.
Before leaving for Spring Break, I purchased a sandwich from one of the on-campus cafes so that I could eat it on the bus ride to Houston. As they were making it, I noticed that both the pool tables in the back were open. I know my friend likes to play pool and attempted to get me into it, but I horribly failed at even hitting the ball properly. After making sure that no one was watching me, I carefully set the billiard balls up in a triangle (in a random pattern, since I did not know the proper order they should be in) and positioned myself to scatter it. After painstakingly trying to decide how I should hold the stick thing, I aimed to propel the white ball towards the triangle and… Missed. No not the triangle, the white ball. At this point I sort of wished that I had like a laser sight on the stick or something. After finally trying again, I barely hit the triangle on the side (mediocre-ly scattering it) white traveling a velocity equivalent to that of a snails. I decided to sit and wait at the table for my food instead.
But yeah… You get the idea! When I decided to visit my folks for Spring Break, I of course had to help tend the accursed garden. Now I don’t mind helping my parents one bit– I just hate interacting with the plants, insects, and climate outside. Sometimes you might see people outdoors in the grass with bare feet and wearing shorts… Yeah you would never see me doing that. (Only indoors!) See I dislike practically every insect and hate getting any dirt on me. I get the feeling that some of my friends disapprove of my plans to have a future house with no lawn and instead covering the resulting space with concrete or waterproof carpet… At least I wont have to mow the lawn!
Oh well, I guess some are meant for the outdoors and some are meant for their outdoors. I wont lie– a nice warm room full of anime and games sounds a lot more appealing to me than a sunny patio. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel guilty though. A part of me feels that I should enjoy playing outside with friends as I did when I was around nine years old. But perhaps, I am just afraid.